IF.......:)

Usually i'm not a very big fan of poetry and prose ranks far above on my to-read list. I mean, i never get why anyone would want to express oneself in such a way that nobody is able to decipher what they are trying to tell us. I am more of a straight forward type of person, as in not straigh forward in when i am talking, but straight forward in when i am listening or reading. I would much rather that a person tells me in black and white what they want than going round and round a subject.
This is the problem with poetry for me. In plain words, most of the time i don't understand it. And rarely do i come across any such pieces of poetry which makes me want to stop and read it, i mean actually and thoroughly read it. But one such poem which made me stop in my tracks and change my mind is IF by Rudyard Kipling.
I am huge fan of this poem and somehow reading it always makes me want to be a better person. It is a poem which rudyard kipling had written to his son and was published later as one of his works. After reading this i have always wanted to read more of rudyard kipling's work but somehow haven't gotten round to doing it. So for now i have to be contented by reading if once again.
So, here goes....
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
- rudyard kipling
I hope you enjoyed reading one of my favourite poems as much as i do.
lots of love,
$alOni.

BEAUTIFUL DAYS AND NIGHTS...:)

Its 3:00am in the morning and the weather outside is beautiful, owing to some early showers and a light dust storm this evening. The night is as dark as it can get and the skies are clear with a modest sprinkling of stars just visible through the trees and the air is smelling divinely of rain. There is something so calming and peaceful about standing in the balcony this late at night thats its almost therapeutic. It makes me forget all the strains and tensions of the day. I just want to stand there and inhale the natural scent of the earth with my eyes closed. I want to go for a long walk or maybe just sit on the terrace alone with a book and perhaps a mug of hot coffee.
But 'sigh' lets admit it....its laaaaate....verry late and I cant go for a walk for obvious reasons. I can't enjoy my own balcony or the guards stare as me as though I have lost my mind or am in serious trouble or something! Remember when life was simpler and you could sleep outside when there was power failure. Believe it or not I have done that...many times in the past. Tai-tau, mom-dad, Aayush and I , everybody...we used to sleep on the terrace once in a while if the generator wasn't working (and if you have ever lived in my house, you would know that this happens an awful lot of times). Its sad that we don't do this anymore. I wonder why we ever stopped.
As much as I love the beauty of early mornings, I have decided that they are not really the thing for me. It has now dawned on me (no pun intended) that I am, as jahnvi aptly name me, a night owl. It has always been me, among all my freinds who has stayed up the entire night doing absolutely nothing. I have witnessed many a dawns and sunrises and heard many early prayers without going to bed, and actually sleeping after 6 in the morning. I can work as late as you would want me to without a shadow of a frown. Just don't make me get up early in the morning if you would rather avoid witnessing an entire day of snapping, grumbling, pouting and a general air of drowsiness. Even just now, I have been at the computer, studying, for the past 3 hours, until I decided to take a break. That's when I stepped out to the balcony for a minute to get some fresh air and took in the scene of absolute serenity outside. So i decided to write about it. Hey, if i cant enjoy it, atleast i can grumble about it to you, which mind you, i am very good at doing.
And now, I am afraid, I better get back to what I was doing earlier, which was reading about the missile programmes of India and Pakistan.
So here's wishing even more beautiful weathers all through the year to you.
Lots of love,
$alOni.

GOD SAVE ME.....ITS SIN!!!

Okay, i am ecstatic. I am happier with myself than I would have been after scaling Mount Everest or swimming across the english channel. You know why? Because i resisted chocolate cake!!! Can you believe that? I definitely cannot. That dark chocolaty, incredibly rich, gooey and moist chocolate cake sat right in front of me pulling me towards it, but I actually did not take a bite. Not even a teeny weeny one (except a lick, which does not count)! What does that say about my determination, huh? Definitely high!

Why on earth is it so difficult to resist temptation when we know we should? I am telling you, there should be brownie points awarded in god's mark sheet for that. Its not easy, I tell you. Like right now, for example, all i want to do is go to bed, pull the sheet over to my head and sleeeep. I am staring at the computer with my eyes open just enough to make me see what i am doing. BUT instead, I know I should be studying and so comes the herculean task of resisting the temptation and trying to keep away sleep by drinking gallons of water and going to the loo every few minutes. I think I should be saying the Lord's Prayer ( lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil....) but I doubt it would help at this hour.

Okay, I have rambled enough for the moment and now I am going to sleep....sorry, I meant STUDY!!!!

So signing off with one off my favourite quotes which seems most appropriate going with the tone of my post..."everything good in life is either illegal, fattening [my chocolate cake..:( ] or bad."There is no justice in this world, take my word, none!!!

Bye and good night to all....go sleep while i go to my books......if i can resist the temptaion. ;)

THE FUTURE BECKONS

You know what amazes me? Its the thought of how much we have grown up. From being creeped out at just the thought of being alone in the house, crossing our fingers and praying to god in case of a blackout to managing our homes, budgets and our life, we have come a long way. And can you guess what scared me most...it was the idea of travelling alone in a train or a plane and I know I could have braved watching exorcist alone at the age of 12 rather than travelling alone at the age of 18.

Then, we grew up a little more and entered the last 2 years of our schooling. We laughed, we cried and we screamed but we stayed just the same at heart. Just yesterday it seems we were preparing to give board exams which were more important to everybody than life itself. Heaven behold if you scored less than an 80 in any subject. And now WHAM! Back to the present. Its 3 years later and some of us are on the verge of becoming graduates.

There are people, in fact our ex-class mates, who were our comrades in arms in those very boards, who are actually getting married. married... can you believe that. I have to admit that it would scare the living daylights out of me if somebody mentioned marriage seriously to me. I would probably have a nervous breakdown and I am sure my friends would too (in fact I am pretty confident that they would not hesitate to have me shipped out of the country if only to save me from the dark pit of matrimony). Anyway, they are sure of the future they have chosen and are content with their choices.

Then there are those who are not getting married but they too are sure of their future which rests on their career for which they have worked really hard. They know what they want out of life and work to get it with plans which are well executed by them.

And then there is me. I dont want to get married( it gives me the creeps) and I am not really sure of the future too. I have gone with the flow and have chosen the path which came along and guess what? I found I was happy with it. Yes, there are doubts and a sense of insecurity but you know what. I have faith. I have faith in god and I have faith in me that together we can make this work. I can make something of my life with the choices that I have made and eventually it will all work out for the best.

So, no fear...and be there with me...

lot of love...

$alOni...:):)

A NEW DAY

After a lot of pondering, stalling and procastrating, I have finally mustered the courage to write a blog which would be my very own space to give words to those thoughts which, well, I would say out loud anyway. Still its nice to be finally getting into the habit of writing something and knowing that atleast my mom and my friends are going to be reading it every time there is a new post, which I hope would happen in pretty quick succession.
I dont know why I had been dawdling for this long, except that I thought that I didn't have anything interesting to write, for you see, my head is pretty excempt of thoughts a lot of time like it is right now and I am just blabbering.
But I'll let you in on a secret...I am a very lucky girl because God is especially partial to me. He gave me the most amazing family in the world, who have never once discouraged me from doing anything that i want. I have not one but four such great friends who ALWAYS encourage me no matter what, and this has to be done quite a few times since i'm not really known for my optimistic nature or a determined spirit. They are the ones who always tell me that I write well enough, that I am on the write path in terms of my career and that I will eventually get into a good college( well, everyone except priyanka khanna who tells me at this point that "tum bas yahi karo, college tumhara 2 ghante ka hai, tum jati nahi ho, padhai hai nahi aur aage bhi tumhe job bhi aisi milegi jahan tum din mein 2-3 ghante kaam karogi." But then you have to excuse her because she is priyanka khanna and she has the right to say anything).
so I guess all I am trying to say is that thank you guys for encouraging me to do this and always being there and i hope never to disappoint you. you all are my guardian angels sent just for me. THANK YOU.
and I will keep the posts coming fast and quick with the hope that you enjoy them too.
lot of love,
saloni....:):)