Wedding Wows!

Just recently, I read a piece written by my colleague, where she mentioned how much she detested weddings. She wrote about how as a kid she hated to attend weddings and how as an adult it freaked her out that everyone around her was getting hitched left, right and center. She envisioned marriage to be this evil monster, which ruined one’s career, independence and eventually, life.

Reading that article made me realise how weddings have always been a part of my life.

As a kid, I had always loved weddings. I was this excited, exuberant little teenager at all the family weddings. it never occurred to me to not attend any cousin’s wedding. Bollywood songs, dressed up people, good food, crazy dancing, what wasn’t to love, I thought. Which, now I think about, is crazy since I hated getting dressed for anything, had too much inferiority complex to be dancing, and eyed all food with longing but ate nothing, considering I was FAT! Still, my joy at the mere idea of a wedding was hard to contain.

As I grew up, I watched incredulously as my friends started getting married one by one. I was afraid that their marriages would put ideas in my parents’ head to start thinking about my wedding. Because as much as I loved weddings, I shuddered at the idea of a ‘marriage’, wherein two people had to live together. There was a lot of stuff about ‘marriage’ that freaked me out. Having to share somebody’s house and room was just one of them. my bigger issues were with addressing somebody else’s parents, whom you’ve known no longer than a few hours, as mummy-papa or having to change my entire life, especially my surname. That was to me, literally cringe inducing.

And then, the day came. It was right after I had turned 23 that my parents decided to find the perfect groom for me. No amount of crying, blackmailing or tantrums would deter them from their self-declared parenting-right of finding a suitable boy for me. Suddenly all my earlier fears came back and all I ever heard was how good he would be for me. I wanted to run away from the madness.

Don’t get me wrong, I do want to get married eventually. I don’t have anything against marriage. I was raised with the idea that you grow up, study, get into a good college, make something of your life and then the natural progression is towards finding the right partner for yourself and settling down. That thought has naturally stuck. I did everything by the book. I grew up, got into a good college and am on the path of building a career for myself before I get married. Not for a moment do I think that I would want to be 40 and still be alone. Not for a moment do I believe that I would not be successful if I got married or that my career would be ruined. You just have to tweak your plans in accordance with what life throws at you. Marriage is just one of those many challenges.